1 Year Out with Tymm, Laura and Meron
Editor’s Note: While the series is called 1 Year Out, this great family is actually two years out…but you get the point!
Adoption is a roller coaster. International adoption takes the roller coaster and removes the handlebars and seatbelts and makes the hills bigger. Not only are you encouraged to let go and relinquish control – you HAVE to let go. There are no handlebars to hold on to.
Next month it will be 2 years since we first held Meron in our arms. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday and other times it feels like an eternity ago. Looking back over the last 2 years it is pretty cool to look at our journey with the 20/20 vision of hinsight and to see where we’ve come and how much we’ve grown.
A few things we’ve learned since coming home with Meron:
1. I NEVER KNEW LOVE LIKE THIS BEFORE
Don’t get me wrong – I love my wife. A lot. She is my soulmate, my teammate, my better half, my best friend and an undeserved gift from God. And I love her a lot. I also love the Yankees. Ice cream. My two dogs. Snowboarding. Flag football. Running. Motorcycles and mountain biking. But this new love – this love I was hit with when I was handed a tiny little girl who looked at me like “HELLO! About time daddy!” – well that love has changed me to the very core. And not only did it change me – i feel like the road to Meron (and Brighton) taught us how to love better. I love my wife deeper, i love my life deeper and I love God on a level I never knew possible. During the wait for Brighton and shortly after he passed away Laura made this profound statement: “How we loved Brighton, so deeply and intensely without ever having touched him – that’s how we’re supposed to love Jesus.” I wouldn’t trade these lessons in for anything.
2. IT WAS HARD BUT IT GOT EASIER – QUICKLY
I am gonna be honest – we’ve been spoiled rotten with Meron. Now – in all honesty – we prayed our heads off and had a whole team of people praying intercessory prayers on our behalf – you know for things like good transition, good health, etc, etc etc. And we got it all. Meron transitioned so well. She bonded with each of us on the same level at the same time. She never had a preference for one over the other – she loved time spent with each of us the same (and she REALLY loved time spent as a family). I think the only things that could probably qualify as “hard” were your typical parenting things – nothing unique to adoption. You know the drill – middle of the night feedings – bombastic diapers at inopportune times – skipped long runs – chaos to what we thought was “order.” But every part of that has been worth it and neither of us has regretted anything for a second. Truthfully – if you can make it through the paperchase, the social worker visits, the background checks and the travel – then you made it through all the hard stuff. The rest is just parenting – and that’s one of the things God built us to do.
3. PEOPLE SOMETIMES STINK BUT MOST OF THE TIME THEY ARE REALLY COOL
When we announced we were adopting from China everybody was head over heels giddy. That wasn’t the same reaction we got when we announced we’d be doing a concurrent adoption from Ethiopia. Even some of our family members were a bit stand-off-ish. And at first – that brought some worry with it. But ya know what – people don’t really stink as much as we thought they might. Sure – we get the occasional look or odd stare – but most of the time people are genuinely interested and intrigued. And I can tell immediately if they’re the type I am going to share anything with or if they are gonna get the “Dude, i gotta get going” short version of me. It might help that we live in a pretty large, pretty diverse city and also that we’re pretty willing to be open, honest and transparent about our situation. Matter of fact, Laura and I are minorities in our neighborhood and we love it. The biggest thing around this is this – I have seen Meron and her presence knock down way more walls than I have seen put up due to her our our situation. And I am just thankful to be along for the ride!
4. I MAY BE FOLLICLY CHALLENGED BUT I CAN WASH, CONDITION, COMB AND DETANGLE WITH THE BEST OF THEM
If ya really boiled it down to the nitty gritty and waded through all the fears this process has brought me – I mean walk right past fears of racism, bonding, acceptance, health, travel, finances – these were nothing compared with the fear of me having to do Meron’s hair by myself. But ya know what I’ve learned? I can do it – Laura is SPECTACULAR with it and she has taught me how to handle the washing, the conditioning, the combing and even how to get her ready for school in the morning on my own. And if ya really wanna know the truth of it all – I love it. I love the time spent with Meron, the time spent doting on her hair, taking extra time to make sure it’s right. It’s time that I will cherish forever and ever. And – just to brag for a second – a finer head of hair would be hard to find! If I could grow even a fraction of what she has I would rock it so loud and proud!
5. AFRICA IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO GOD AND IT SHOULD BE TO YOU TOO
After we got home there were times when I just wanted to scream and say “Can’t I just be a regular dad and just go out and have fun with my gorgeus African daughter?” But alas – the answer to that is no. Dad or no dad – I can never be “normal” again. Because I now have Africa in my heart. And once you let Africa into your heart – things change. You change. Your mindset changes. Things you thought were important before don’t even register on your radar anymore. I have read (i am paraphrasing here) “I truly believe that God hid the secrets to His kingdom in the lives of the poor, the widowed and the orphaned.” I really, really believe that. I saw joy with no possessions. I saw love with no materialism. I saw the pure, true, undefiled love of God shining through the people we met. I saw what God wants for His people.
Oh, I am home from Africa. For now. But a large piece of my heart stayed on that continent with my son and the beautiful people surrounding him. Thinking about adopting? Stop thinking and just do it. It will be the best decision you ever made.
5 Responses to “1 Year Out with Tymm, Laura and Meron”
Not only was adopting Meron an incredible blessing to
your family but also to our extended family. If that was not enough, you have taught us so much about the loving people of Ethiopia and given us an opportunity to feed the hungry orphans and needy babies of this world by sending formula to your foundation “Brighton Their World”. Your family has blessed many and we are thankful.
I love the words you have written! My husband & I are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia and while we are excited about it, I must confess therer is much apprehension & nervousness!! We have four children living & lost a daughter to cancer @ the age of four. WE feel that our hearts are big & we have much to give! We are aware that things most likely will not be complete smooth sailing & there will be challenges. Your story gives me encouragement! Thanks.
Thanks, Tim, Laura and Meron for sharing your story with us!
Great post (and pictures)! I love this that you said:
“Truthfully – if you can make it through the paperchase, the social worker visits, the background checks and the travel – then you made it through all the hard stuff. The rest is just parenting – and that’s one of the things God built us to do.”
Amen.
Not only was adopting Meron an incredible blessing to
your family but also to our extended family. If that was not enough, you have taught us so much about the loving people of Ethiopia and given us an opportunity to feed the hungry orphans and needy babies of this world by sending formula to your foundation “Brighton Their World”. Your family has blessed many and we are thankful.