One Year Out with Charisa and Greg
How do you measure time? As a mom, it is marked by the milestones and growth of my children and family. It has been about a year and a half since Abenezer joined our family. I remember vividly the questions I had weeks before I went to pick him up. What would he be like? What will he understand at age 5? How will we communicate? Will he love us? How will everyone get along? Will he ‘attach’?
A year and half ago I was in Ethiopia picking up a five year old little boy who was full of life. We returned home and also discovered a little boy who was wounded and grieving. Ab was jealous of my time with anyone (including my husband.) This was hard on a momma’s heart who had four children to love and nurture. I was not prepared for the emotional exhaustion that I faced at this time. Dealing with his feelings of grief and fear, coupled with my feelings of inadequacy and guilt drained me daily. I wish now that I had sought more outside help. Friends were not sure how to help us and I wasn’t good at sharing my needs. However we did have those special friends that just instinctively knew we needed some extra grace, fellowship and love. I am very grateful for them.
I was floored how quickly Ab learned English. After just 18 months he is reading beautifully–from knowing eight English words to reading small books. I am still amazed when I think about it. I was also surprised how quickly he lost his Amharic language. We still keep some words alive but saying them often but it saddens me how soon it was forgotten. We were told by Ethiopian friends that this would happen quickly—and it did.
I love the bonds that have grown for us a family. We have adoptive friends across the country that we love to keep in touch with and that even support us in our current adoption! We have a huge love for Ethiopia. She grabbed our whole family’s heart. We love to learn about her culture, her people, and love Ethiopian food! I love sharing about adoption with others and encouraging them to answer the call if it is given.
We live in a small town in the south that is predominantly white. It is becoming more diverse and I am glad. I love walking down the mall, the park or some other public place and feel a connection with others of various races. I love when people of color will reach out to Ab and give him a high five and smile at us. It’s a doorway through a barrier of race and I am thankful for it. We have had several incidents of racism and I was very thankful when people who had been there and experienced it offered me help and encouraged me. My world has become much more wide and beautiful.
Looking back, I am so thankful for Abenezer’s growth. The little boy who cried himself to sleep and was fearful now plays in the room with the lights off. The toys that he didn’t know how to play with are scattered all across his room. The constant need for attention and reassurance at times raises its head but for the most part is content.
Our family has grown in its depth of love for others and we have all learned how to live more selflessly. We have learned to walk and talk with more compassion. We have learned to forgive and make the choice to love with our actions when we’d rather do something else.
It has been a year of many things: joy, sadness, love, frustrating, exhausting, exhilarating, fear, assurance, mourning, and dancing. They all have had their time and their place. Through them we have grown. We are blessed.
I have had many people tell me. “I could never do that!”
My answer is “yes, you could. If God called you….yes, you could.”
Continue to follow their story at www.forsuchasthese.blogspot.com
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One Response to “One Year Out with Charisa and Greg”
What a beautiful post. Thank you for your vulnerability.